Set, Aim and Achieve

Yes! I really did it! There are few goals I set before the event
1. Finish the 10km journey within 1hours (60minutes).
2. Be the first finish the 10km among my CI members ( Last time kampar run I also got top rank 3 but count from back =x).
3. Let Mr.Terminator inhale my dust ( I did say it b4 in the kampar run and I not capable to do that cause by the shoe i wore that time).

Before start the run today, my legs condition alr very back due to badminton session
and juz ran for another 10km at titiwangsa park ystd.
3 out of my 10 toe come out with blister. Sole also got abit red and swollen.
Really worry that I cant finish the 10 km on time.
Furthermore, many of us all also sleep not more than 3hours that day.
For them, I not sure why they so high.
For me, Im worrying someone and waiting she got home. 
Around 2am, finally told me that she home, simply reply with one or few words.
Its really I have no idea why i will sent that and this is the first time
I sent this kinda childish sentense to her.
Her ans is "I also very tired la."
This kinda emo and complicated thing stop here better.


Talk back the run, in condition sleep less than 3hours, 3toe with blister, sole red and swollen,
I start to run with my strong faith and willpower.
We stand quite far from the starting point, When start, for the front 10min, we are juz "walk" all the way to the starting point.
For the front 2km, its fully crowded and cant even run at all. I surpassed inhan hancheong kimyeong between this distance. 
Very fast, at first stop station I saw Terminator! 
I slapped his BUTT and surpassed him! Woohoo! This feelings good! Haha.
Here i surpassed him and Mr.Lim Jee Hock. =D
Before i give Terminator inhale dust, he shout to me
"Nan Qing Loon Sheng at front!"
Well, my competitors to get my 1st rank is juz leave this 2 ppl.
I also don really rmb how many km I only found Nan Qing and surpassed him by slapped his BUTT also! haha. childish really for me =x

In the mid of the journey, I really worry and scare i cant finish this 10km 
and mid of it i will stand bside waiting for medical treatment. 
Bcoz that time i can feel my sole is freaking hot and ache.
But i kept telling myself cant giv up and must get the 1st place among our members for her.
Run, rest, run, rest.. Set front as target then run, rest for awhile set another again.
Repeat and repeat. Most funny is the way I run.
Left hand im holding my spec, due to too much sweat and not comfort by wearing it.
Right hand im holding my noobie phone, to keep on check the time I spend.

Its really a very hard task for me to finish it in such worse condition.
But at last! I did it! This feeling is good!
Although after this my legs might need to rest for weeks, but i have no regret.
The only thing I missed out is I cant see Loon Sheng. 
Mayb is bcoz of i din wear spec, and he also din see me.
But from the time we finished, I abit faster than him.
And last, when walk in, I rewarded one bottle of mineral water, banana, and a cute shoe pendrive.
And I plan to gift this to her, without her, I wont so insist to finish it by less than 60min.

Just want to say, "Hey! I did it! I really did it!! For you." <3

Later 7-9pm still got badminton session, dono whether i still can play well anot.
But i guess this will be the last sport games session for me in this week. 
Unless my sole not pain anymore. xD
Its a memorable event for all of us. 
And, I do enjoy it. We are the best! CI 08 <3

Bad luck surround

It has been freaking long time i nvr log in this account to write a blog since 26/9/2009.
Even the hotmail and password i used for this account i also forgot alr.
Luckily there is one option named "forgot ur password?"
Even the blogID i also forgot alr. Either it is sozaiming la, or sohzaiming.
Yuan lai Google search Sohzaiming can str8 away view my blog.

No wonder she told me google can search the blog.
I guess she now also wont view this blog la. Since its inactive for more than 2 years.
Actually blogging really such a nice place to express ur feelings.
Happiness, sadness, loneliness, tension, excited and etc.

Today really very emo. So i choose come back here to write out my feelings right now.
Dont wish to share such emo feeling with others, its bad.

Recently, really freaking bad luck for me.

Decadence for 2years, my academic CPGA from original first class 3.5+ drop until 3.2+ now.
Few reasons for me why decadence for these 2 years.
Relationship problem. The girl is really hurt me too much and when flip through notes or study,
I will freaking miss and review back the moment we study together, setting opponent as target to beat down, discussing the tutorial and examples, expressing point of view of ourselves and many many. In previous years, my heart is really fully filled by her.
In order to force myself not to keep think of her, i choose to skip class, stay inside the house gaming nonstop, so that i don have any extra time for me to think or do others things.

2nd, at first i thought when get 1st class honour, the loan i get from PTPTN can apply as scholarship. Thats why i kept study hard so that i no need return any money to the government after i graduated. The amount i borrow is RM66k. When return, i need to pay back RM89k! there is RM89k!! So i keep aim for the first class. but one day, i go to the Wisma Perdana and ask for whether scholarship for first class still available?
I got the answer "NO, this is juz for the graduated student for 2010"
And recently, my senior Wei Soon who got 1st class in degree, he told me he just applied and government approved his loan changed as scholarship!!

WTF?!?! im freaking regret why i didnt really study in the previous years. ='[

During these Uni life, i nvr experience what i facing nw.
What The! im facing financial crisis! nvr so poor b4, my bank account today leave RM89. first time ever. ~.~
really spend too much in this two months. Alcohol, Clubbing, Gambling, Travelling. Wallet exhausted.

After that Nehemiah competition.

My teammates and me had been busy for almost 1month for the model and information searching. many first time of my Uni life occured.
Stay uni more than 15hours.
1st time stay Uni until night time.
1st time having dinner in Uni.
there is really a unforgettable memories for me and i do appreciate.
At competition that day, we still put very high expectation on our baby.
Unfortunately, we lose the competition.
And the kiasu gia NKY won as champion! Really freaking emo for the morning and afternoon.

The most hurts me is relationship again.
Donno why, if let me to choose whether families, studies, friendships or relationships which is the first place. I will confirm answer relationships. I know i will be very fond of her, care her, and like her.

but very sad, which just happened again ystd. she told me that really treat me as a very good fren after so long.

Always, I pretend as a clown or positive ppl to make fun for all the people surrounds me.
Look like im very happy, but deep in heart, sometimes its very sad. Pretend as happy sometimes really very suffer.

Ystd knew this things is around 3+ and end up with 4. After that insomnia for 2hours then alarm rang. Promised my frens to go titiwangsa for jogging session.
Really dont feel like going. But my style, what i have promised, i must do it no matter how.
then 6.06 i force myself wake up and go wash face. After that jau join them for jogging session.
Maybe emo can turn as energy. all of my friends today just jog for 2rounds, which is around 5km.

and me, im double of them, i jog for 4rounds in 65minutes. really wish to continue until i cant stand and fully exhausted. during jogging im still kept thinking about ystd. its really a big wound for me again. very hurt.

I know there are alot of things i can focus. But so far, i really wish that i can stay together with her forever. =']

i Like her very much.

no more.. speechless to u..

there are quite a long time i din write my blog.. i also donno how to express my mood nw.. really heartbroken.. its very suffer all just kept in the heart.. suffer till wanna die.. if this is what u want.. i will just do it without any words.. really disappointed with u..

=(

终于 他们分手了
我应该为此而非常高兴
但到现在 我一点高兴的感觉都没
反而觉得很难受
见到她那副完全提不起精神的样子
心里就如被万箭穿心一样 可能比它还痛
有时见到她这样 真的有冲动叫她接受回他
至少....她不再那么悲伤
但 我又能酱大方接受他们在一起的事实吗？
不能
真的很矛盾 又不想让她再流泪 又不想失去她
我能怎样呢？ 一切都怪我
自私 小气 不大方 吝啬 爱吃醋
真的很难受 每当见到她 就很想跟她永远走在一起
很想把她抱入我的怀抱
让我
去保护她 疼她 爱她 喜欢她 迁就她 想她
不让她再受到任何伤害
为她隔离一切不高兴的事
隔离一切 伤心的事
但 我没这个资格
好想对她说：“我真的很爱你！”
她是知道的 如果我一直重复
又会弄到她觉得反感
心里一边想说，另一边又不想让她对我反感
真是“神是你，鬼又是你啊！”
应如何是好呢

生日快到了
原本想和她一起迎接我生日的到来
但 刚刚又被她请我吃了柠檬
我是明白的 刚和x分手了
一下子就跟其他男生出去
她会觉得不自在
明白又能如何呢
真的很想和她一起度过
原本打算一起去看戏
在十一点多时 借尿遁
等搭正十二点时
拿一束99朵粉红色的玫瑰花
在那时送给她
向她告白
其实 生日愿望我早就想好了
人时常说 生日有三个愿望
那我也准备了三个愿望：
1. 希望她能接受我，永远开开心心的走在一起
2. 希望我们这次的成绩都是一级棒的（presidentlist）
3. 希望她能多爱我一点.....
既然吃了柠檬 这计划也宣布告吹了
勉强没幸福 即使最后她肯和我出去
但 一切都没意义了
算了吧 可能明年那天 这计划可实行
但今年 还是算了吧
虽然很失望 但不接受也得接受
老实说 真的很妒嫉他
为什么他总是能和她单独在一起呢？
我却只能在学校范围内和她相处
真的很期待跟她出去看看戏，逛逛街，吃吃东西
开开心心的玩一天
只有期待了....
虽然告吹了 但我的愿望一样没变
即使在生日当天许愿
我也是许一样的愿望
希望她能多爱我一点..... :'(

Just finish numerical midterm...

Just finished numerical midterm today.. The result is not that good.. a lot careless mistake..
but its nt so sad for me..
cause this should what i pay for.. study really last last minute..
can be said that the midterm that i prepared most late ever..
cant imagine that i just use one day for prepare my midterm.. nvr happened it b4..
my life nw start messy.. uni din go, lecture and tutorial class skipped, assignment done last minute with copy paste, tutorial din do, prac report last last minute also..
wat a NOOB uni life im passing nw? FUKING tui fei..

Is time to change liao!!! YAP TAT MING!!!
should stand up liao!!!! change b to the normal life passed last semester..
President List is waiting for those hardworking student and nt lik the ME nw..
wat should do to forget all the things happened this semester leh?
got heart no energy.. GOSH.. My GOD.. wher r u..

alw when think of THEM.. sure will get moody.. really don hope to let her know im moody for it..
try to hide.. try to smile.. try to do everything.. but..
YUAN LAI i did NOTHING.. expect masam muka and moody..
aikxx... why lik this.. everything is nt i wan also.. zzzzz

hope that "ming tin wui geng hou" and "ship reach bridge head will auto straight" la..
smile~~~ SMILE!!!!!

该爱的不爱，不该爱的就跑完来

这是我第一次写blog
那是因为我不知该跟谁说这件事。。
只好透过这里，发泄一下吧。。
昨晚，七点多吧，她发了一封短信说“真的，是时候放弃了”给我
看了以后，我的心就好像被几十万支的箭射穿我的心
痛得眼泪都掉下来了
她说要再给“他” 一个机会
我真的真地搞不明白
为什么要再给一个曾经欺骗她，没交代，没时间观念，缺点百出的他呢？
为什么。。真的搞不懂。。也许是爱情的魔力吧
爱-能容忍一切不能容的东西
- 是一件不能用理智来衡量的东西

我失恋了
虽然被她拒绝了很多次
但每次我都不会放弃
可是
这次不同了
不得放弃也得放弃

放弃一个我爱的人
放弃可以和她一起嘻嘻哈哈的日子
放弃可以跟她一起为目标而努力的时光
放弃每天和她总在一起的机会
放弃一切一切与“她”有关的东西
老实说，
要放弃 谈何容易？
不是在吃生菜
这都是哑巴吃黄连，有苦自己知。。

该如何是好呢
该如何是好呢。。。